So, I don't use my xanga space too often to record spiritual points, but something struck me tonight that I felt was worth writing out. Plus, for some strange reason, when I'm grading essays, I find it cleansing to do some writing of my own. So, here goes:
I was in Psalm 73, and these words jumped out at me: "But as for me, my feet came close to stumbling, My steps had almost slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant As I saw the prosperity of the wicked." Now, I'm not really envious of arrogant or wicked people really at this particular moment. To tell the truth, I don't have much time right now to even pay attention to what is going on around me in the broader scheme of things outside of the news that students have been giving in their required news speeches. However, I do know what it feels like to be slipping and stumbling because my focus is off. It's the time of the semester where it seems like there is an infinite amount of work to do in a painfully finite period of time. It's the time of the semester where I have to remind myself that even though I want to do my best to meet the deadlines coming at me from several different directions and that not doing so could mean consequences for me and others, these deadlines are not quite the life and death things that I make them out to be when I lie awake too tired to do anything else productive but far too worried and anxious to drift off to sleep.
The Psalmist continues on in his disbelief that people can choose wrong again and again and prosper in spite of their wrongdoing (again, not really my wrangling point right now) until he gets to the point where he says, "Until I came into the sanctuary of God." And, there's the perspective that I need. It's the perspective that should come as naturally as breathing to me by this time in my Christian walk, but it's the perspective that I still lose again and again and again. The Psalmist ends by saying, "As for me, the nearness of God is my good." Word choice is important, or so I've been writing on quite a few essays these days, and the Psalmist doesn't say, "The nearness of God is good for me." He says it
is his good.
So, now I will go grade some essays because there is still too much Starbucks in my system to waste and because, mercifully, I can be more disciplined about staying away from Facebook after every sensible person in my friendship time zone has gone to bed and stopped posting about their lives (an entirely different subject for an entirely different day). It also seems that by returning to grading this the lesson I just read hasn't quite sunk in, and I'll be honest, it hasn't. The mountain of work is a big focal point for me right now, but sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of where refuge is. It's far easier to set my emotional and spiritual GPS settings if I have an address.
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Comments (3)
Good stuff. This is one of my favorite Psalms. I have been clinging to Romans 5:1-5 lately. I figure by the time I finish graduate school I will be so full of hope, I will hardly be able to stand it. And, I don't know about you, but it seems like once I get one thing down where I feel like I don't really struggle with it in my Christian walk, another thing becomes blatantly obvious as something I do struggle with. Thanks for your thoughtful comments about this Psalm! And happy end of the semester.
@corbyjaye - Yep, I hear you. Once I grow into one thing, it seems I find more growing to do. Thanks for the end of semester wishes. If you are not finished yet, I wish the same to you.